what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
