i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
