You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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