Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize