I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I will be naked everywhere
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
