Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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