I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
