Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
