I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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