I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
