2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
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