I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
