I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
