So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
