The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize