uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Boobs speak an international language.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize