You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
as a side note pls kill me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
