yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
