woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
