just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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