My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I skipped work to stalk him.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
