Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
