I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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