Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
