i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
