Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
