All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
