My liver just broke up with me...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He passed out mid-signature
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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