My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
