Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
