just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
