Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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