I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
