I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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