question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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