You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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