I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
