I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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