I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
where are my eyebrows?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
