Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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