my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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