11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
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she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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