God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We are all done wearing pants today
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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