after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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