I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
