I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
