Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
