You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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