Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
