I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
