The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
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my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
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Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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