I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize