I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
