you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
