I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
