we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Someone signed my nipple.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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