My room smells like vodka and shame
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
