Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
