I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.