Is it normal to miss your booty call?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices