try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
